The Power in Self-Perception

Hello Reader,

And a good day to you!

How we Perceive Ourselves

I wanted to share some thoughts on the matter of how we perceive ourselves.

The most powerful factor that will motivate a person to do something, or not to do that thing is how the person perceives themselves.

On a basic level, someone who perceives themselves as righteous, will do righteous actions; someone who perceives themselves as evil, will permit themselves to do evil acts.

How I came to realize this was quite interesting. In my line of work, I do quite a lot of writing, baruch H-shem.

I wrote an article yesterday, discussing among other things, why doctors are reluctant to give multiple medications to elderly patients. As I was researching an answer, it became clear that a patient’s strength was part of the equation but other factors also had a bearing. One factor was whether the patient perceived themselves as well or not. If a patient perceives themselves as ‘well’, one study said, it made a difference to how much medicine a doctor felt the patient could handle. In this case, for reducing high blood pressure, the posit was that a patient taking more types of medicine could get their blood pressure under control and lowered more effectively.

Back to Self-Perception

Someone who perceives themselves as being in a state of ‘ain‘ or ‘without’, feels their lack sorely. All that a person notices when they are in a state of ain is what they don’t have.

A person knows on a logical level that they have family, clothing, a business or a car. Yet, what is in the forefront of their mind, and perhaps hurts, is, that they don’t have enough money for tuition, their holiday is too short, they don’t have comfortable shoes or they don’t have enough of a social life.

On the other hand, when a person is in a situation of ‘yesh‘ or ‘having what is needed’ then what they notice more is what they do have. They see the blessing in their family, they see how fortunate they are to have some parnasah and they see the blessing in themselves.

The Mind Opens Up In a State of Yesh

It is so good to be in a state of yesh! How you can get into that state will be discussed below. But look at some of the benefits:

When a person is in a state of yesh, their mind opens up.
There is a sense of creativity and growing.
They have great ideas.
New dreams pop into their mind of things they would really like to do.
The Shechina is with them, and they feel it.
They sense bracha in all that they do.
As if they have a ‘golden touch’, all that they get involved with breeds success.
Their physical health improves.
There is a good chance that their mental health will be balanced.
They love people and people love them because they give out such a good energy.

The Teenager and her Skirt

Let’s say you have a teenager. She goes shopping and buys herself a new skirt.

The next day her mother compliments her on the new skirt.

The girl, however, looks at her new skirt with uncertainty.

She wonders if her friends will like the skirt on her. In any case she is not sure if she chose the right shade.

The girl decides, “Ugh, this skirt is disgusting. Why did I buy it? I am going to look like a nerd.”

How did that happen?

She felt a lack of certainty in herself, as to whether she liked the skirt. It could be that when she bought it, she was not thinking whether she liked it, but whether her friends would like it!

Of course she is not sure if it looks good on her. She was never in touch with herself in the beginning. Her self-perception was not clear to start with.

How should a girl go shopping?

With balanced self-perception
In a state of yesh
Always, go with a shopping list

Coping Skills and Self-Perception

How well you cope and the coping skills you develop in your younger years, are what will stand by you as you age. That was the conclusion of another study that I came across.

As a person ages and they lose their physical strength and sometimes their health, they need coping skills. This will prevent them from falling into a state of misery or, in the words of this article, as state of ain.

What do we learn?

An elderly person who sees themselves as healthy, will have a different experience and cope differently with the challenges their senior years throws at them.

And what about us?

We need to learn coping skills early on in life.

We need to develop an emotional stamina and an ability to bounce back, from birth onward.

The Survival of Klall Yisrael

I guess this is one of the spiritual genes in a Jewish person.

This is a gift from Hakadosh Baruch Hu that enables each individual and our nation to survive the golus all these years.

This is the G-d-given survival mechanism behind the Divine promise that Klall Yisrael will never be wiped out completely.

With a healthy self-perception and an array of coping skills, each of us can be ready to fulfill our life’s mission!

Tips for Getting into a State of Yesh

Say a daily prayer to thank H-shem for what you have, either from printed text or in your own words.
Keep a hashgacha pratit diary. In it write the special things that happen to you every day.
Be the first to greet people cheerfully.
Initiate acts of chessed with friends and even people who you do not know.
Set up a permanent chessed, such as, a free-loan fund according to the Sefer Ahavat Chessed by the Chafetz Chaim, or a gemach to lend mobile phones.
Look after yourself, eat healthily, rub cream into you feet, provide spiritual nourishment, exercise.
Take a course in positive thinking where you learn how to hope and pray.